An example; how to change someones mind using NLP.

Writing by sifnt on Sunday, 22 of July , 2007 at 11:42 am

Michael recently posted a question in the comments of my last post and in the process of answering his question it seemed more fitting to make a new post out of it as this will get read more.

Michael wrote:

 

[…] where it goes “its like how you thought(whatever you wanted to change,fire old anchor). By saying what you wanted to change , could you give an example on what we are changing? like are we changing what we want them to get to us. And also would like to know what the old anchor was. […]

And heres my response:

I’m not sure I 100% understand what your asking, so I’ll try and give an example and hopefully it will answer your question

Lets say, for example that we have a friend who wants to see a movie and we want to go to the beach instead. (nice uncontroversial example)

Your friend arrives at your place, you want to persuade him/her to go to the beach instead, so as your friend comes towards your front door, you look puzzled for a moment and ask your friend (lets call ‘him’ john) “hey john, wait.. is your shoelace undone?” and john looks down puzzled and as his gaze meets his shoes you say “oh NEVER MIND john, it just looked like they were from this angle, you know, you see things one way and then the next time its DIFFERENT NOW.. come inside”

As john comes closer you reach out your hand to shake his and say something along the lines of “its good to see you again”, and before your hands connect you pull your hand back (the classic bandler handshake pattern interrupt) and gently touch his outstretched arm with your other hand.. look john in the eyes and say FEEL LIKE going to the beach, don’t you john?

Now just bring your original hand back and shake his as though nothing happened (no need to go overboard, you’ve dropped the suggestions you needed to while his mind was blank during the ‘interrupt’), maybe pat him on the back and lead him inside. Maybe say something along the line of ‘come inside and sit down for a moment’ and as you lead him inside, you could even give him an icecream as you say “you probably feel like after that walk in the hot sun, don’t you? (don’t give him time to respond)..well do you, I don’t know, I just thought you might FEEL LIKE ONE”, it helps to time it right and hand him the icecream at the same time, you’ve already ‘LEAD’ him the whole time, he should be a little entranced if you did this right so he’ll unconsciously accept the icecream and is quite unlikely not to accept your gift, even if he originally didn’t feel like one.

You might ask him something like “hey, you used to live in that old red brick house didnt you” (or whatever was true, this is just to get him to recall any experience that WAS true).. as you see his eyes move to access that part of his memory you put your hand on something, say the refrigerator and say ‘mmmm’ (this is the anchor, do it at the same time as a combined visual and auditory anchor is more powerful).

Casually finish of the topic, whatever small talk is needed, you have your anchor, now just make things appear natural.

You might now ask him how ‘Stacy’ is going (in this imaginary example, he has a crush on a girl called Stacy).. he may say a few things.. say something like “you want her don’t you?”.. now pour yourself a glass of water, do it so as soon as he even ‘thinks’ of Stacy you’ve twisted the tap and the water lands in your cup, this is the anchor, do it with precision.

Now interrupt him, he’s seen you pour a glass, say “you want one?” and (he better say yes.. :P), he says yes you move to pour him a glass, and casually ask “hey you want to go to the beach today?” and IMMEDIATELY begin pouring his glass (this is the anchor)..

(if he says no to the water you will have to get creative and invent a way to use this anchor, probably look at your glass disgusted and throw it out, pretend to wash it, and then ask him if he wants to go to the beach, as you ‘fire’ the anchor by ‘repouring’ your glass)

If he STILL wants to go to the movies instead of the beach (and this is probably if your screw up the timings, or he’s VERY determined.. or a mismatcher in which case the classic “I bet you couldnt statement”.. eg “I bet you wouldn’t want to go to the beach anyway John, the weathers not that great and you’ve never really been a fan of getting sunburnt” ), you also have the used to be true anchor (his old house, and you touching the refrigerator). In this case, your probably best of giving some long winded story about how you read this thing about how the mind works.. blah blah.. I’ve gotta get some sleep now, but you get the gist (if there’s interest, I’ll write up example of how language can be used to induce ‘basic’ amnesia etc)

Note:
The language I use uses lots of manipulation of past / present tense, use this to ‘move’ peoples perceptions.. eg, “You really wanted to see that play, didn’t you?” vs “You want to see this play now, don’t you?”

Tag questions are also used.. think about it, you’ve made a statement, the person is thinking about it, now ask a question that will usually get a positive response (don’t you / didn’t you / wouldn’t it etc) to cement in a positive response to your original statement, doesn’t it?

There’s also a lot in the timings, NLP / hypnosis is useless if you can’t do it like a natural with elegance and poise, something that I’m still working very much on personally; it takes time to perfect these things.

So good luck, and hope you all feel like going to the beach, you could probably use a nice tan anyway, couldn’t you? hehe.. couldn’t resist, maybe its just my own projections, sitting here in front of my computer during a ice cold Australian winter dreaming of how much a miss seeing the expanse of the ocean, feeling the warm sun on my back as sea gulls squark and children play.. damn, it sure would feel good.. maybe I’ve just successfully persuaded myself its time for a holiday.

Category: Exercises, Ideas, Patterns, Pattern Interrupt, Anchoring, Anchor

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